Why we need a change in attitude…

Has anyone given thought to the words we use?  Most of us (at least people  that I know) are brought up not to say certain words until a certain age,  and other words  not at all.  While I don’t  agree  with this practice, the “how it’s used” part I definitely think is important – especially when you’re reffering to either yourself or the people you care about in your life.

The best place to start looking is 1990’s gangster rap, which is one of the earliest examples that I remember.  While radio and TV censored many of the “offensive” language found back then, those of us smart and old enough could easily find the uncensored versions without the aid of a friend.  (I add the “smart” part because this was when Wal-mart, on its way to becoming the megastore it is today, stopped carrying  anything with a “parental advisory” sticker or label on it.  I was duped once.)  The words they often censored were often in yes with each other, calling each other “Nigga” and “Bitch” more than a few  times in a song.
Unfortunately, the idea of “constantly using negative words to drain its effectiveness” took off.   It wasn’t too long after that when I was seeing it in regular public – I’ll be sitting out in public when a  couple of black people would greet each other with “what up, nigga?” or women calling each other bitches as greetings.   Eventually it graduated to “I’m a bitch”or “I’m an asshole”, etc.
The biggest thing I’ve noticed, unfortunately, is that many of the people who talk like this aren’t as positive as they claim to be.  While a few get the idea  that words only carry as  much meaning as we give them,  most of the people using those  terms have a lot to complain about, and don’t usually feel as  good about themselves as they either could or should.
This isn’t limited to either offensive or negative  words/slangs, either – some people are trying to refer to themselves in a positive that does not fit them.  The biggest offender here is “Curvy”, which is being used by women who are way more  than curvy.  (Here’s the test:  if your belly extends beyond your boobs for at least a third of your stomach,  you’re beyond “curvy.”)  While I’m not against the positive, most of these women post or say things  along the lines of expecting men to accept them for who they are,  and  see no reason to change themselves.  Worse, they put  the ability to lose weight behind a veil of”I can’t/won’t.”
The thing these things share  in common is how they affect our attitude.  It doesn’t matter whether you’re trying to make a word positive by overuse or lying to yourself to make yourself feel better, the  one  thing  you’re trying to fool is the one thing you’re  failing at.  As a big, ugly ogre, I have no room to talk about looks.  I care about end results, both achieved and prevented, and if having you be pissed off or offended by me calling this activity out for  what it is, it’s far better than having you lying to  yourself about you as a person until you end up in the hospital for stressing out.
To summarize:  Stop being negative, and when you’re being positive, be realistic.  There’s a difference between a  “friend”  and  a “bitch”, as well as “curvy” and “morbidly obese.”


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