I hope you will indulge me for a minute and forgive me for what I am missing – I’m clearly not a parent, and I’m not trying to judge or tell anyone how to live or raise their kids. What I have to say is based only on my observations in recent months, and not on any hard data, either statistical or scientific.
This afternoon before leaving my apartment I heard a kid crying because he was being spanked. What this kid did to deserve said spanking I have no clue, as I did not see it, nor do I think it matters much. It did, however, spark a few memories of mothers I’ve met in recent months and the difference in how they raise their kids and how their kids behave.
A lot of the parents who spanked also screamed and yelled at them for what they were doing, going so far to threaten them of said spanking either in front of me or on the phone in conversation. In a few cases, they scared the crap out of me – and not in a good way. The kids, in turn, were more rebellious and prone to getting in trouble, and the parents were more negative to be around.
The parents who either found creative ways to punish or teach their kids, in comparison, seemed less stressed by all parties, kid and parent. They were less scary to be around and to talk to, and while I can not fully agree with all of their methods, had to punish less. There’d been a couple of instances where a spanking might have happened, but those were well-earned.
Again, there are a few exceptions on both sides, with kids being whooped behaving well and kids not being spanked being complete brats, but they were fewer than what I just described that was happening most of the time. All of this is based on pure observation, but it makes me wonder what kind of futures these kids will have, what kind of adults these kids will grow up to be. We’ve seen plenty of the obnoxious, the careless, the rude and dangerous people created by both types of raising, and sometimes can tell it without ever having to meet their parents.
It’s not my place to tell you how to raise your kids, if you have any – and I personally don’t want to tell you how to do so. However, I’ve turned down a few of the “screamers and spankers” specifically because of this, and while I’m not against spanking, I am against excessive force. I don’t care if you disagree or have statistics or data to prove me wrong, a number on a piece of paper is not the same as a human being, either child or adult. If you really want to prove what I’ve been seeing wrong, prove it in how you raise your kids. I don’t want to debate this, I just want to give food for thought.