A Letter To Santa

Dear Santa,

Wow – has it really been that long since we last talked? I think the last time you got a message from me, I was a spoiled little brat who wanted everything under the sun and even some things that were over it, too. Naturally, as is even the case now, I find most Christmases disappointing. Not that I blame you, of course – You’re only doing your best to help the moms and dads, grandparents, great-grandparents, and the other relatives give kids a true message to kids, that being the art and appreciation of giving. I feel that, more often than not, you’re just as important in spreading what Christmas is supposed to be as Jesus Christ was. And no, that really is praise, not me planting lips on cheeks where (hopefully) the sun don’t shine.

I won’t lie: I’m still the same greedy brat wanting physical toys this Christmas. Had I got around to getting my tree up, I’d be looking forward to that PS3, Wii, Mac Pro, Plasma display, and Entertainment Setup i’ve been wanting for a while. Yes, my tastes have grown up, but I seriously doubt that there’s going to be a Lamborghini Diablo waiting outside my apartment building with my name on it.

Of course, with me getting this to you so late, you’re probably thinking, Is he insane? Truth be told, I do have some things that maybe just as impossible to give me as the great toys and gizmos – not to mention necessities – I need. (OK, so some of these will take some work, and some of these are just wishful thinking – They’re still worth investigating.)

So, let me dispense with some new impossible tasks for you. (No, I don’t want everything under the sun anymore – though many of these will seem that way.)

  1. A Media Center truly worth the title of the name. That’s a machine that only needs a receiver and some game systems hooked up to it to deliver the ultimate entertainment experience, without sacrificing allowing me to choose what I want to do (at the same time) or forcing me to use various standards that are incompatible with each other.
  2. Get rid of Bush. I don’t care if you put him and Cheney in a coma, drop them off a steep cliff, wrap them up in each other’s strings in the middle of the ocean (yuck – nasty picture there), just remove them soon. I have a feeling before Bush leaves his posh estate where he can run things without A. having to actually LISTEN to people, and B.) CARING about what they say, that he’s going to provoke another violent attack on the U.S. and bring the draft back, getting rid of Freedom for men everywhere. I’m actually afraid that next Christmas, if I’m alive, I’m going to be off in a war-zone fighting a battle I truly believe we don’t belong in because of a person who never should have been given power in the first place. (I may be a greedy kid still, but I certainly am not ready to see the end of days just yet – and that’s not a reference to the movie of the same name, either!)
  3. Remove people’s drivers licenses. I swear, some days walking anyplace that some people are receiving their licenses from someone who’s just passing them out as if they were candy. Please either get some of these ignorant people off the road so that they don’t kill me or anyone else, or teach them how to drive so I don’t have to worry about it. If I’m going to die in the middle of the road, let it be because of my stupidity, not someone else’s.
  4. A gigantic barbecue pit for all of the deadbeat dads, moms, and losers who say mean things to their ex’s and lovers. I think my anger towards this sort of thing is one of those things that, even with acceptance and forgiveness of the individual in my life who caused me that pain, is one of those things that will never heal, never go away, until the cause is gone. I think the men and women who do this, by putting their own feelings before that of their children, are scum, and that no matter how good that child’s life becomes, they will always wear a scar they never should have had in the first place. Yes, by not being there they’re giving these kids a gift they will never understand until they’re older, but no child should ever have to go through that in the first place.
  5. An end to poverty. Bush and all of these other politicians gloat about the fact that many people who used to be welfare cases and who used to not have jobs are back and working. What he doesn’t realize is that many are working at or below minimum wage, and that the cost of living far exceeds what a person can make down on the bottom rung. Yes it’s a great idea to make minimum wage go up, but the bigger problem is that the cost of living needs to really go down for it to be effective.
  6. The magic cure to Obesity. I hope that someday soon I hear about a magic pill that gets rid of the excess fat in a day, making the need to diet a thing of the past. I’m tired of hearing about how my parents are going to outlive me, are going to be burying people like me, so for myself I am giving myself a much needed gift in the form of diet and exercise, but it’s a struggle for most people just to survive, let alone worry about their waistlines. Believe me when i say that this is just as important as the cure to Cancer and AIDS combined, and while I would hope those would also be available the same day, This is the one I’d personally prefer.
  7. Bring the cost of education down. I truly believe that many of the problems with people getting a good education stems from a combination of people and companies abusing the educators and parents needs by gouging out their pockets to put a kid through school, and I believe that it’s getting to a point where just putting a kid through preschool is as costly as putting them through college. (It makes me really glad I’ve not had the opportunity to cause the need to bring someone into this world yet – aka, I’ve fathered no one yet.) A line needs to be drawn in the sand, stating clearly that gouging these kids is going to end, and it needs to happen soon.
  8. An end to war. Getting rid of Bush won’t stop the violence that has our trips overseas right now, and I’d be ignorant to say otherwise. There are too many innocent lives being lost because of some truly ignorant and vicious men whose lives should be forfeit. Why should it be my friends, my brothers and sisters, who have to pay their lives for someone else’s personal beliefs?V Why should they pay because of men who, like Bush, should never have been given any power? I’m believing more and more that a favorite phrase of a friend of mine should be done. Operation Glass Parking Lot, anyone?


  9. An end to my loneliness. Yes, I’m well aware of everything i brought onto myself, and that asking you this of you, when I have a lot of good friends is more than you’re capable of right now, but I also know that the changes I will be making this year will not fully get rid of this. I can’t ask my friends for that – they often give me more than I deserve to begin with, and are already stressed as it is – but I’m not even sure if I can give that to myself either.

Of course, you can always give me the physical gifts too – just set that winning hundreds-of-millions dollar game ticket underneath my tree (or in a card, since my tree’s not up this year), and put the keys to that Diablo – along with my license – next to my bed. I’ll understand if you can’t do that.

One last favor, though, before we part: I’m sure there are plenty of children who are a lot worse off than I am. Please see to it they’re given the best Christmas they possibly could hope to get. (I know you usually try, but put some extra effort for me, please.)

Merry Christmas, and I’ll be sure to send you a new list next year!

A fan and a friend,



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