I did become employee of the month… umm… maybe i ought to say nice stuff…
Oh, and a hello to some relatives…
Nothing I said in my last posting is untrue: The way I feel is unchanged, and the fact that I am given this somewhat bothers me still for the reasons I listed before. That said, it was officially announced last night: I am the employee of the month, regardless of how I feel about it. Since I went all negative on the last go-around, I think something positive should be said.
First, as I stated yesterday, there were plenty of noteworthy months where I should have received it. All of them have attendance flaws – the only consistency being that when I am there, which is a rarity when I miss, IU am there for the shift I am scheduled. Because of the oddball schedule I work, it gives me a flexibility to give and do more at work, as well as to be as late as need – which is a plus, given how late I have been lately.
The thing that troubles me is that either we’ve run out of who they feel are good workers (to which I have a slew of names for you if that’s the case), they’re trying to make up for the fact that they’re stuck in a situation with me that they can’t fix (which i understand) and want to remedy it somehow, or that they’ve lost touch or perspective of what an employee of the month should be. Now, granted, I’ll always be harder on myself than most people will be, but from my perspective, there’s that feeling of something’s-not-right-here. I don’t think they lost perspective, because there’s very few – I can’t think of one off the top of my head, anyway – who did not deserve the recognition of it. Everyone knows how I feel about the full-time at this point, and those involved know that I understand fully, from both sides of the coin, where I stand, so don’t believe it’s that either. Finally, if I can think of a list of people who have not won the award yet, there are plenty of others who think the same way. (TK, I certainly hope you’re next!) in short, all of my worries can, indeed, be knocked down, but they don’t go away.
I doubt seriously that I’m going to change the negatives that I feel. I work for a wonderful and profitable company, and – with a few exceptions – have little to worry about. the team that I work with, both in and out of the department, area big part of what makes me great, and feel great everyday. Personally, I think that the whole department – or any group of individuals whom that person wants with him – should be allowed to partake in the EOM dinner, and celebrate as well, because I certainly would ask for this if it could be done. (Realistically, right now we’re in the middle of our big push, so unfortunately, they can’t afford to lose us for a night.)
The way I view employee of the month is someone who goes beyond the expectations of the average employee. Maybe they do something no one else has done before, or maybe they give or contribute to something that becomes bigger than them. Maybe they face down their problems. I don’t feel this way about myself – I am doing my job. If that’s how you view me – Thanks.
I hope it’s sunny, since it decided just now that it wanted to snow. Other than that, I am waiting patiently for my income tax check and hoping I can last one more week until my next check, since certain bills snuck up behind me. (It isn’t fair to call someone two days before you plan to shut off the connection, or to send the letter accompanying it the day before!) Anyways, I’m surviving, and I have an apartment to clean. Hope everything is well. ILY. See you two when you get back, and don’t get into any trouble. (Don’t make me remind you of Nashville!) Nothing from mom – though I am sure she says hi.
Talk with you soon.